Exited the shower in the ladies locker room.

Noticed someone walking behind me.

Went to my locker. I was in a towel.

The other lady went to her locker.

Naked Asian Lady: Do you have a watch?

MJF: No, but I have my BB.

I looked to my right...buck naked Asian lady with the towel on her head.

MJF: its 4:57pm

Naked Asian Lady: thanks! The clock on the wall is not working!

MJF: Ha! I know its not 7:45 pm!

Naked Asain Lady: I kno rite!!! They need to do something about that clock. I pay too much to see broken clocks.

MJF: there are a lot things around here need fixing.

Naked Asain Lady: Oh I like your eyebrow ring did it hurt?

MJF: Yeah it did. I'm thinking of getting another one.

We continued talking in the nude and towel until Dina the cleaning lady walked in.

Dina looked at me and mouthed: Her vee vee is bushy!

MJF: You seen one you seen them all.

Naked Asian is dressed and leaves.

Dina: some people have no modesty.

MJF: Well this is a locker room.

Dina: oh.

MJF shakes head and walks to dressing room.

Moral of this story: If your the cleaning lady of a gym locker room, stop looking at hairy vaginas and clean.

I hope you enjoyed my story.

THE END

I'm afraid of casual sex. I don't know why. I guess I don't want to be used or be labeled a whore. My cousin and I had a convo about this. She said its ok as long you know who you are sleeping with. But its not ok with me for some reason. I guess I'm a prude or coward or something.

Damn it is hot!!!! I'm gettin blacker by the minute! Its hotter than satan's balls!! I stay in the house all day long to keep from frying up. I just got my hair pressed and now I look like a burnt bush. I'm sweating all the time! I have to shower at least twice a day. I went over to my gradaddy's house to play with my dogs. They just laid there and looked at me like "bitch please."And to make matters worse I have to work with funky ass people. Its too damn hot to be smelling like that! Ass and armpits are just raw!

Damn its Hot!

*PHEW!*

Now that I got that out, how are you guys doing today?

Me and my friends used to make up dumb quizzes back in the day. The result were usually ghetto or something silly. I found one of them:

1. If the cow is peanut butter, then why is the sky crying?

2. If you take 1/4 cup of reality and multiply it by bullshit, what is the outcome?

3.Fill In The Blank
___________ is the key to happiness. But _________ is the way to eternal tribulation.

4. What Comes Next?
Tonga, Gleepa, Norsa, Ormack, ______,_____,______.

5. True Or False
Nipples are biodegradable.

6.Toppyplats are bigger than shontelooms. If the percentage of shontelooms increases, how will the toppyplats survive?

7. What is my name?

8.Who was the first man ever to kill a fly?

9. Why do you think this is stupid?

10. Mr Green orders 400 boxes of nails. In each box there are 600 nails. How many will he use to throw at people?

Just recently I was at the lung doctor's for a check up. While waiting, a mentally ill man (who had the mind of a 10 year old) was talking to me. His mom kept telling him to shut up and leave me alone. I told her it was ok he was not bothering me. His mother and grandma were called and he was left alone, so we continued talking. The man was telling me about the death of his father, his toy frog, his dog and how likes to eat chicken fingers. We had a pleasant conversation. I enjoyed our little tete-a-tete. Most of the stuff he told me was pretty sad. Finally my name was called and I had to go see the doctor. I thought about that man all day. My heart was kind of heavy.

As long I have been living, random people tell me about their problems. I don't know what is about me that they have to seek consultation from me. I can't give them advice because I can't sympathize. I can only comfort and be a good listener. I work with children and the elderly. They tell me everything! I mean everything! I don't mind listening at all but the hardest part is not being able to help. I wish I could snap my fingers and redress the world. But all I can do is listen.

This is the longest newspost I ever made

Went to Golden Corral with the family.

With a plate in my hand, I was headed for the Bourbon Chicken.

Passed by two kids no younger than 3. They both said hello to me.

I spoke back.

Little Girl: She a big ol girl!

Little Boy: Uh huh! She gone eat today!

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!

Children are so adorable! Yeah they were telling the truth. That Bourbon Chicken is yummy!

I bought my first pair of plus size skinny jeans. Now I look like an ostrich .

Flip flops, socks and sweat pants. Wifebeaters and doorags...I be hood now. Just feeling a little ignant.

I love old skool hip hop. A Tribe Called Quest is one of my favorite groups. I remember as a little girl falling in love with Q-tip. Back then hip hop was happy,fun and meaningful. What the hell happend?

WE ARE AWESOME!!!!!!!!